Karmic Compaction
What if everywhere to you turned, everyone you interacted with, all senses, all feelings, all entanglements with the elements brought pain, suffering and piercings of the flesh and organs? What if you never got a reprieve other than under severe and heavy sedation where the soul and body then separate?
What if there was no one to speak to about these things, because nobody *gets* the magnitude. Nobody understand what exactly it means to be perpetually in the state of being annihilated. What if they judged you, wrote down a classification, dismissed you and told you flat out - this was your lot in life, the best I can do is give you some pills to take the edge off? What if your entire life was a battlefield and you were fighting the entire world just for the right to earn a space to breathe in because somehow that doesn't seem to be ok with the world who see you as something that has zero rights to exist, let alone have a space and the sooner you are annihilated, stomped and executed - the better for us all?
I feel just like that. Exactly like that. Every single day of my life. Since Day One. The leper and the AIDS virus carrier combined with the scorned woman and the cockroach sprayed for being a cockroach. No reprieve. No white flag. No moment of sanctity to exhale.
The wounds are to my organs, to my head, to my brain, to my mind, to my heart and to my ears and eyes. The wounds are in my mouth, in my skin and through the particles of DNA within my fingerprint and footstep - on all levels and all gradations.
So - why this life? Why be put here at all? Cosmic joke? Fluke? Stand in till some one better comes along? Am I holding someone's place - just till they can make this incarnation?
It's called Prison. Soul Prison to be exact. You do the crime, then you do the time with every single pore open to pain, to feel it, measure it and claim it. For the purpose of - as I can only guess - punishment for some horrific, demonic, sheer evil my soul did in another life - and this is where it all filters in and funnels through. Here. Now.
A compaction of karma - all of it rushing through like waterfalls and sandpits, tons and tons of sin debris, all pouring, pouring, pouring into consciousness. Because there is no other time for it to happen and it's now or never. And on the level where we're all brought before the Court of the Universe and Heaven Combined - in a trial for the life or death of my soul - 72 judges and 72 witnesses and 72 executioners and 72 angels - it was decreed that this would come to be. And so it has. And there is no one on earth who has been given this sentence other than me. It is unique in its severity, because there is intellect combined with stupidity and foolishness combined with wisdom and evil interwound with naivete' and death intermixed with life - in equal degrees.
And the clincher is serve or be destroyed forever. The soul will simply cease to be as it was and will be demoted to a rock or an amoeba or a sickle cell. That is the direction and Plan.
There is nothing to do but sit in silence and breathe. Breathe and sit and pray the heart as it breaks will not shatter too explosively because the wounds are already ingrained and who will be there to clean up the mess.
What if there was no one to speak to about these things, because nobody *gets* the magnitude. Nobody understand what exactly it means to be perpetually in the state of being annihilated. What if they judged you, wrote down a classification, dismissed you and told you flat out - this was your lot in life, the best I can do is give you some pills to take the edge off? What if your entire life was a battlefield and you were fighting the entire world just for the right to earn a space to breathe in because somehow that doesn't seem to be ok with the world who see you as something that has zero rights to exist, let alone have a space and the sooner you are annihilated, stomped and executed - the better for us all?
I feel just like that. Exactly like that. Every single day of my life. Since Day One. The leper and the AIDS virus carrier combined with the scorned woman and the cockroach sprayed for being a cockroach. No reprieve. No white flag. No moment of sanctity to exhale.
The wounds are to my organs, to my head, to my brain, to my mind, to my heart and to my ears and eyes. The wounds are in my mouth, in my skin and through the particles of DNA within my fingerprint and footstep - on all levels and all gradations.
So - why this life? Why be put here at all? Cosmic joke? Fluke? Stand in till some one better comes along? Am I holding someone's place - just till they can make this incarnation?
It's called Prison. Soul Prison to be exact. You do the crime, then you do the time with every single pore open to pain, to feel it, measure it and claim it. For the purpose of - as I can only guess - punishment for some horrific, demonic, sheer evil my soul did in another life - and this is where it all filters in and funnels through. Here. Now.
A compaction of karma - all of it rushing through like waterfalls and sandpits, tons and tons of sin debris, all pouring, pouring, pouring into consciousness. Because there is no other time for it to happen and it's now or never. And on the level where we're all brought before the Court of the Universe and Heaven Combined - in a trial for the life or death of my soul - 72 judges and 72 witnesses and 72 executioners and 72 angels - it was decreed that this would come to be. And so it has. And there is no one on earth who has been given this sentence other than me. It is unique in its severity, because there is intellect combined with stupidity and foolishness combined with wisdom and evil interwound with naivete' and death intermixed with life - in equal degrees.
And the clincher is serve or be destroyed forever. The soul will simply cease to be as it was and will be demoted to a rock or an amoeba or a sickle cell. That is the direction and Plan.
There is nothing to do but sit in silence and breathe. Breathe and sit and pray the heart as it breaks will not shatter too explosively because the wounds are already ingrained and who will be there to clean up the mess.
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