When Push Comes to Shove - Where DO I Hold?

Such an important lesson right there.
When the absolute atomic bomb comes
crashing down and shooting out
nuclear fallout and debris
where AM I holding?
Who do I trust?
What IS my first reaction?

PANIC.

That's where I hold.

Just plain old panic.
The same conditioning that is prevalent
first row
core disposition that's running the show.

Well, I lose something - go into panic.
It's usually around that.
Symptomatic of losing trust, losing security, comfort - the first barrier that protects. Root chakra. Evident in my broken back and broken relationships that are pathetic attempts to rise above in spite of having no solid foundation. Only guesswork.

ARGH.

So tests come. Big time. Hello tests, how are you today? Did you enjoy the little performance of angst and thoughts of annihilation that went on just before? Did you? Did you?

Regardless. It's Amalek. And the instances that come between the panic and understanding are getting shorter - indication of movement towards wholeness.

OK.

Be still my beating heart in panic.
Be still.

Understand.
Know.
Comprehend.
Embrace.

Understand. Integrate that Binah into the equation.
Integrate.

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