So Very Tired
One month and counting without sleep.
My cat who is in pain wakes me up before
dawn after I've had only 2 hours sleep.
I give her some painkiller, or food
and I try to get back to sleep but can't.
This is a very hard place to be in.
I am exhausted all the time. The strain
of not finding a place, the holidays,
the sense of total alienation and guilt
combined for not being a better - whatever
And my cat - who I can't help - that is the worst.
I am simply at a stalemate on where to do
what to do - how to do it and how to afford it
this after spending thousands of shekels I was
supposed to use for moving for my cats at vets.
They all got sick - I kept shlepping them in taxis
back and forth to this clinic where they essentially
did nothing but the same routine standard blood tests
without ever diagnosing the issues at hand properly.
I had to then go back like a dummy, log on and find
the actual remedies that were needed and the proper
treatment - and then spend more money for the remedies.
So why did I keep going back to them? Well, one place
I kept going back because I was under the impression
they knew their stuff - and they did piece my youngest
cat together after she was severely hurt last year.
So - it was part loyalty and part faith in their know-how.
It was only after my cat Jesse died so badly that it
all registered - that they didn't do a good job with him
that in fact - it was a botched job. For example - not
once did they do a urynalisis - and the one time they
did an ultrasound the printout was so bad - so dark you
couldn't see a thing - and they never did another one
but charged me for it. It was just a nightmare with
getting these pancreatic pills and *vitamins* essentially
orange juice and brewer's yeast and sending me home
with a cat whose system was failing.
I then ran to the supposed major vet hospital here.
Shlepped him over my shoulder in vans, buses - 2 hours
going and 2 hours back. It was just insanity. They couldn't
find out exactly what was wrong only telling me that more
tests would be needed. So I took him back to the first clinic.
And on and on - and all I could do was watch him die. I had to
beg for pain relievers for him. And nobody ever called to find out
what happened to him - nobody cared - and so he was buried. With
a picture of a rabbi and a white rock under a pomegranate tree.
And my others - were all taken to various vets here in the South.
It is not unlike the human doctors - the level of expertise is
abominable. Just really - really - bad. My female cat has pain in
her ears - I took her to 3 different vets - the last one was the last
straw. I am just a basket case about this. It's like I show up and just
hand them the money - for nothing. I was sent home with overpriced
washes and drops that I could've gotten for 10 bucks each tops but
was charged 5x that much and KIBBLE. He couldn't even distinguish
what she was allergic to - so decided that she was allergic to all
protein! I mean come on. I found the culprit myself in the chicken breasts
I'd been giving her - apparently it's treated with some kind of phosphate
or other plumping/preservative/additive.
Where do I go from here? All the money is gone. I don't have even the energy
now to go anywhere and shlep anymore. I'm all shlepped out. Completely. Facing
yet ANOTHER vet - where? Jerusalem? Tel Aviv? How do I even get there?
I've been trying to find alternative medicines to treat her - it's beyond the
scope of my knowledge - I definitely need a partner in healing - someone who knows
their stuff who can diagnose and who is trustworthy.
So I lose sleep. I don't get angry at her because I know she's in pain. It's all I can do to find whatever I can to help her at that moment. Lots of reassuring. Lots of petting. Trying for more drops, more homeopathic remedies - MMS, L-Lysine - and on and on and on.
I am not doing a good job at this at all.
I so need help.
Hashem - help us.
My cat who is in pain wakes me up before
dawn after I've had only 2 hours sleep.
I give her some painkiller, or food
and I try to get back to sleep but can't.
This is a very hard place to be in.
I am exhausted all the time. The strain
of not finding a place, the holidays,
the sense of total alienation and guilt
combined for not being a better - whatever
And my cat - who I can't help - that is the worst.
I am simply at a stalemate on where to do
what to do - how to do it and how to afford it
this after spending thousands of shekels I was
supposed to use for moving for my cats at vets.
They all got sick - I kept shlepping them in taxis
back and forth to this clinic where they essentially
did nothing but the same routine standard blood tests
without ever diagnosing the issues at hand properly.
I had to then go back like a dummy, log on and find
the actual remedies that were needed and the proper
treatment - and then spend more money for the remedies.
So why did I keep going back to them? Well, one place
I kept going back because I was under the impression
they knew their stuff - and they did piece my youngest
cat together after she was severely hurt last year.
So - it was part loyalty and part faith in their know-how.
It was only after my cat Jesse died so badly that it
all registered - that they didn't do a good job with him
that in fact - it was a botched job. For example - not
once did they do a urynalisis - and the one time they
did an ultrasound the printout was so bad - so dark you
couldn't see a thing - and they never did another one
but charged me for it. It was just a nightmare with
getting these pancreatic pills and *vitamins* essentially
orange juice and brewer's yeast and sending me home
with a cat whose system was failing.
I then ran to the supposed major vet hospital here.
Shlepped him over my shoulder in vans, buses - 2 hours
going and 2 hours back. It was just insanity. They couldn't
find out exactly what was wrong only telling me that more
tests would be needed. So I took him back to the first clinic.
And on and on - and all I could do was watch him die. I had to
beg for pain relievers for him. And nobody ever called to find out
what happened to him - nobody cared - and so he was buried. With
a picture of a rabbi and a white rock under a pomegranate tree.
And my others - were all taken to various vets here in the South.
It is not unlike the human doctors - the level of expertise is
abominable. Just really - really - bad. My female cat has pain in
her ears - I took her to 3 different vets - the last one was the last
straw. I am just a basket case about this. It's like I show up and just
hand them the money - for nothing. I was sent home with overpriced
washes and drops that I could've gotten for 10 bucks each tops but
was charged 5x that much and KIBBLE. He couldn't even distinguish
what she was allergic to - so decided that she was allergic to all
protein! I mean come on. I found the culprit myself in the chicken breasts
I'd been giving her - apparently it's treated with some kind of phosphate
or other plumping/preservative/additive.
Where do I go from here? All the money is gone. I don't have even the energy
now to go anywhere and shlep anymore. I'm all shlepped out. Completely. Facing
yet ANOTHER vet - where? Jerusalem? Tel Aviv? How do I even get there?
I've been trying to find alternative medicines to treat her - it's beyond the
scope of my knowledge - I definitely need a partner in healing - someone who knows
their stuff who can diagnose and who is trustworthy.
So I lose sleep. I don't get angry at her because I know she's in pain. It's all I can do to find whatever I can to help her at that moment. Lots of reassuring. Lots of petting. Trying for more drops, more homeopathic remedies - MMS, L-Lysine - and on and on and on.
I am not doing a good job at this at all.
I so need help.
Hashem - help us.
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