Keep Cutting Back - Keep Getting Cut

It's been 2 months without cooking gas. I simply cannot afford it. I cut back on food, I stopped buying bottled water. Stopped buying even the simplest of things that are not essential. I am stopping my phone because I can't afford that either and will work with a cell phone on a card. My upcoming holidays will be spent lying in bed contemplating how I will get from point a to point z without falling over. I have pain now almost all hours of the day. At night my knee starts with excruciating burning pain from a knotted vein, then I can't fall back asleep. Then the itching from the pesticides in the foods starts erupting. Then the gas and intestinal pains from whatever food I managed to wrangle starts upchucking. My cat who is in pain cannot be seen by a vet because there's no money for that either. And I think I must stop complaining and suck it up. Because it's not the holocaust and it's not Darfur. I can still get a drink of water before that's taken from me as well.

I've had miracles come through for me throughout these last months - here a donation - there a donation and that somehow moved us through a patch. Now - I must forge for myself. Now I have ovulation pain where my entire abdomen is inflamed. A 48 hour thing since the age of 16. And on and on. What to do - where to go - how to go about doing it - when - which - where. So tired. Just so tired. Tired.

Ana Hashem Hosheana
Ana Hashem Hatzlicha Na
Ana Hashem Hosheana
Ana Hashem Hatzlicha Na
Ana Hashem Hosheana
Ana Hashem Hatzlicha Na
Ana Hashem Hosheana
Ana Hashem Hatzlicha Na
Ana Hashem Hosheana
Ana Hashem Hatzlicha Na

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