It Will Be Hard Making it To Rosh Hashana

It will be hard.
Getting there.
Showing up.
I am the pariah
the scapegoat
and the energy turned
inside out
The push or annihilation
The final push to the
finish line
or I will be finished.
I can't bear another
year of this existence.
I've clung too long
to this raft set on
foreign shores
forcing myself into
thinking that this is
just a dream
and it will soon be over
and the shore the elusive
shore will finally
emerge from the fog.
My arms are too weary now.
My nails are chipped and
my body heavy with fatigue
there is no shore
there is only water
rapidly rising to take me
along to the depths
wanting to claim me
and the pull is great
great great
All I have to do is let go
and sink - let the water
fill me to become one
and find home at final last.

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