Many pathways, some leading to light, many to darkness, the emergence of self from the inflicted afflictions to the Infinite Light. My journey from living to death.
Didn't sleep last night. A total haul to make myself available to Jerusalem and git there. Physically. Just make the bus that involves walking distances, getting to another city and then waiting for the bus. Had my schedule. Started out at 4:00 am. Just to be sure. Then went into automatic. Dressed in paint spattered clothes (on the inside - but still I knew), found other odds and ends to don myself with. Wrapped my head in a scarf and mandatory sunglasses and hit the road at 7 something. Arrived at the next destination - waited another 10 minutes - bus came and we hit the road. I can't BEGIN to tell you - how utterly blown away I felt at FINALLY LEAVING this place and heading UP. It's been a LONG, dragged out, bloody, dusty, fiery, angst-ridden, pathetic time here and leaving it after a year and not seeing Jerusalem for almost 2 - well I was riveted to the window taking it all in, praying that the green trees, my pines, my blessed pines would remain with me as memory. The...
I managed to drive myself into a full-blown panic attack. Mati is not eating, I went out to some neighbors to find an IV set, nobody had one, had one that was used at home, went back, Mati was outside, she entered not before I tried to give her something to eat, she took one bite and started to meow. I went into panic, administered her IV subq, she went outside again. In between preparations for Shabbat, everything from clothes, to salad, to cholent, to making her a slurry, to preparing colloidal silver to actually sewing together 3 blankets I managed to score at a thrift shop so that when people come over to sit on my sofa that I made, that it would be more comfortable. I sewed them together then folded everything and sewed it into half so the cushioning would be more. Now my heart is beating so fast. I tried everything from minerals to wine to weed, to breathing to not thinking now will pray. Shabbat Shalom of healing
Part 10 1. Three are the mothers (forces); three forefathers come from them: Air, water and fire. Their offspring are the seven planets and their hosts, and twelve are diagonal ribs. 2. Three are the mothers (forces): Air, water and fire. Fire above, water below and air is the decree that decides between them. A sign of this is that fire upholds water. 3. The world is like a king on his throne. The cycle in the year is like a king in the province. The heart in the soul is like a king in battle. 4. One opposite the other was made by the Creator: Good opposite evil, evil opposite good, good from good, evil from evil. Good recognizes evil, and evil recognizes good. Good is kept for the good, and evil is kept for the wicked. 5. Three: Each one stands alone. One defends, one accuses and one decides between them. Seven: Three opposite three, with a decree deciding between them. Twelve stand in war: Three who love, three who hate, three who give life, and three who kill. The t...
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