Bile Leeching

Fish, fish I shout into the headless phone
my groaning mother being tormented
by one South Asian caretaker who
cooks sometimes and snaps too often

Fish, fish eat a banana, take your pill
don't be fearful, afraid, anxious, relax
try and down a vitamin C, the story
of my caretaking invisible life rerun

My mother frail, one hundred miles
away, hours by bus and a million
sentiments from my heart, I am
the last remnant of her children

Through broken phones and groans
she is suffering in hell and putting all
those who will listen mostly doctors
in to the pit with her to witness her anguish

I born to this, the lamb the goat and the
beast of burden, suffering her lost childhood
her dismissive father and her rage I absorbed
50 years served, on a bed of sickness and bile

And on and on 50 years. I hear it
and nod, it's easy enough to stop
the noise with a click and breath
and let the pain fade into the pool of what ifs.

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