Enough with the EnterPainMent
I will stop being enterpainment for the masses. The almost 2 grand hits I make a week with this stubble of a place called blog that encompasses whatever it is that makes up a life in the Holy Land. Enough.
I had thoughts of tearing this down.
And maybe I will.
Nobody needs to see this and nobody needs to satisfy morbid curiosity at my expense.
To that I say - go get a life and read someone else.
This is my blood here.
And I'm not hawking, selling or advertising.
I'm barely hanging on to ground zero but with the last fist of fury.
One thing I will not be is a statistic. That is the pact I know I've made.
And nobody will be burying me in an unmarked grave either. Ditto as above.
You're witnessing resurrection. So a little respect. Thanks.
And to the doctors of animals out there in their various coats of white
how you have the audacity to just cash in the chips without healing
is beyond me.
And my own shortcomings of not being able to discern between
good judgment and emotion - and keep a clear head while counting
the last shekels I have - because I love her too much and her pain is my pain
and we are in this together to the end - and the men in white pick up on the
subtle energies of desperation and start accruing the costs to the nth degree
and only later my reasoning returns and I do the Math - to see the sheer
insanity of my agreeing to be stupid, weak and pathetic in the face of Med-I-Cine
when all I really wanted was a Dia-G-Nos-Is - but was too floored, overwhelmed and childlike
to actually STAND UP FOR MYSELF AND MINE and say - this I will accept - and THIS I will not - thanks so much.
But didn't.
And the kicker. The ultimate in Kickers is that in this stupidity sphere, ignorance is locked in
and in that small space no knowledge can enter - there is only ASSUMPTION based on ASSERTION riddled with OPPORTUNISM and COLLEAGISM - the roles one plays at the finish of one's *university and medical rotation* also known as *I have a degree/diploma ergo I am a healer*.
My gracious mother who knows my pain. She has acted upon the compassion in her heart that is holy DNA. We are off the charts, but we have golden hearts. She gifted me again and again. She has come through for me - opening her heart - and for my beloved ones I theretofore also give - hope in finding cures but through the openings of deceit.
Don't count my stupidity God.
Count the Kavanna. That I am loved and therefore I do love in return. Albeit my wrong choices.
And show us compassion in your Light of Healing. And shed your Tal upon the wounded heads of your creation. The ones in my care - that have no alternative now but to wait for your mercy. Please hasten. Please hasten. Please hasten.
Amen Selah Va-Ed.
I had thoughts of tearing this down.
And maybe I will.
Nobody needs to see this and nobody needs to satisfy morbid curiosity at my expense.
To that I say - go get a life and read someone else.
This is my blood here.
And I'm not hawking, selling or advertising.
I'm barely hanging on to ground zero but with the last fist of fury.
One thing I will not be is a statistic. That is the pact I know I've made.
And nobody will be burying me in an unmarked grave either. Ditto as above.
You're witnessing resurrection. So a little respect. Thanks.
And to the doctors of animals out there in their various coats of white
how you have the audacity to just cash in the chips without healing
is beyond me.
And my own shortcomings of not being able to discern between
good judgment and emotion - and keep a clear head while counting
the last shekels I have - because I love her too much and her pain is my pain
and we are in this together to the end - and the men in white pick up on the
subtle energies of desperation and start accruing the costs to the nth degree
and only later my reasoning returns and I do the Math - to see the sheer
insanity of my agreeing to be stupid, weak and pathetic in the face of Med-I-Cine
when all I really wanted was a Dia-G-Nos-Is - but was too floored, overwhelmed and childlike
to actually STAND UP FOR MYSELF AND MINE and say - this I will accept - and THIS I will not - thanks so much.
But didn't.
And the kicker. The ultimate in Kickers is that in this stupidity sphere, ignorance is locked in
and in that small space no knowledge can enter - there is only ASSUMPTION based on ASSERTION riddled with OPPORTUNISM and COLLEAGISM - the roles one plays at the finish of one's *university and medical rotation* also known as *I have a degree/diploma ergo I am a healer*.
My gracious mother who knows my pain. She has acted upon the compassion in her heart that is holy DNA. We are off the charts, but we have golden hearts. She gifted me again and again. She has come through for me - opening her heart - and for my beloved ones I theretofore also give - hope in finding cures but through the openings of deceit.
Don't count my stupidity God.
Count the Kavanna. That I am loved and therefore I do love in return. Albeit my wrong choices.
And show us compassion in your Light of Healing. And shed your Tal upon the wounded heads of your creation. The ones in my care - that have no alternative now but to wait for your mercy. Please hasten. Please hasten. Please hasten.
Amen Selah Va-Ed.
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