Don't Use Power and Denigration When Training a Dog
I read that in a small local newspaper today, one geared toward local businesses. Some useful tidbits just in case one has a dog and is used to shaming them into submission or swatting them with a newspaper on their snout, or worse.
Which led me to think this is exactly what I feel that comes my way in torrents from those that want my energy and who I refuse to give it to them. They use force and denigration to get me to submit to them, not that it works mind you, because the louder they shout the more I tune them out, but I've noticed the pattern in my sphere that runs along the inner meridians of the auric/karmic field - and this has been going on a LONG long time. To tell you the truth, I'm bloody sick of these power struggles.
I read people. I can't help it. I put out my feelers and check what's going on. Usually here in the Land of - I hit brick walls. Sometimes I will have to run for my life because of the lifesuckers and sometimes it's safe. Rare, but it happens. I'd have to say that in most cases - maybe 60 to 70% of all personas there is a negative energy that doesn't yield but will force their way into my field to make me do their bidding. Why? I have no idea. And why do they want it to be me? Because my auric field has tears and holes in it? Because my boundary system is shot? Because the blasts of trauma tore down the protective shield? Could be.
So here's how it goes. I put out feelers, they hit the other person's ego defenses, that triggers them to get bristled and annoyed, they send out their pulses of venom in the guise of whatever their egos are lusting after - usually a sip of my energy - I get that signal, get freaked out and either put them entirely out of my sphere via distraction - music, humming - what have you - or else I will use force to put them in their place - usually with a well-chosen word - which in most cases backfires and I get zapped anyway - but at least they didn't suck the life force out of my soul - only flesh wounds. And so the saga has been going for years, and years and years.
And sometimes I don't even HAVE to put out feelers, they just pick up on some kind of vulnerability and go for it. That has happened a lot. And on some unconcious level - the scapegoat allows this to happen (!!!) and then the warrior within goes beserk with *how dare you!* and then I go ballistic.
Fun times.
Power struggles. I will not relinquish my hold - because it's all I have and I'm aiming high unless provoked to aim real low. I wish they wouldn't put me to the test.
But the good news it's just for learning about EQUANIMITY - HISHTAVUT. How to be cool no matter what - who - where - or whatever energy comes my way. To be centered and calm and assertive. On that note - in a perfect world and if I can ask for anything right now: to be in full control of all situations - to be protected and shielded - and to know how to use the Force.
Yeah.
Shabbat Shalom.
Which led me to think this is exactly what I feel that comes my way in torrents from those that want my energy and who I refuse to give it to them. They use force and denigration to get me to submit to them, not that it works mind you, because the louder they shout the more I tune them out, but I've noticed the pattern in my sphere that runs along the inner meridians of the auric/karmic field - and this has been going on a LONG long time. To tell you the truth, I'm bloody sick of these power struggles.
I read people. I can't help it. I put out my feelers and check what's going on. Usually here in the Land of - I hit brick walls. Sometimes I will have to run for my life because of the lifesuckers and sometimes it's safe. Rare, but it happens. I'd have to say that in most cases - maybe 60 to 70% of all personas there is a negative energy that doesn't yield but will force their way into my field to make me do their bidding. Why? I have no idea. And why do they want it to be me? Because my auric field has tears and holes in it? Because my boundary system is shot? Because the blasts of trauma tore down the protective shield? Could be.
So here's how it goes. I put out feelers, they hit the other person's ego defenses, that triggers them to get bristled and annoyed, they send out their pulses of venom in the guise of whatever their egos are lusting after - usually a sip of my energy - I get that signal, get freaked out and either put them entirely out of my sphere via distraction - music, humming - what have you - or else I will use force to put them in their place - usually with a well-chosen word - which in most cases backfires and I get zapped anyway - but at least they didn't suck the life force out of my soul - only flesh wounds. And so the saga has been going for years, and years and years.
And sometimes I don't even HAVE to put out feelers, they just pick up on some kind of vulnerability and go for it. That has happened a lot. And on some unconcious level - the scapegoat allows this to happen (!!!) and then the warrior within goes beserk with *how dare you!* and then I go ballistic.
Fun times.
Power struggles. I will not relinquish my hold - because it's all I have and I'm aiming high unless provoked to aim real low. I wish they wouldn't put me to the test.
But the good news it's just for learning about EQUANIMITY - HISHTAVUT. How to be cool no matter what - who - where - or whatever energy comes my way. To be centered and calm and assertive. On that note - in a perfect world and if I can ask for anything right now: to be in full control of all situations - to be protected and shielded - and to know how to use the Force.
Yeah.
Shabbat Shalom.
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