Yeru-Shalayim
Didn't sleep last night. A total haul to make myself available to Jerusalem and git there. Physically. Just make the bus that involves walking distances, getting to another city and then waiting for the bus. Had my schedule. Started out at 4:00 am. Just to be sure. Then went into automatic. Dressed in paint spattered clothes (on the inside - but still I knew), found other odds and ends to don myself with. Wrapped my head in a scarf and mandatory sunglasses and hit the road at 7 something. Arrived at the next destination - waited another 10 minutes - bus came and we hit the road.
I can't BEGIN to tell you - how utterly blown away I felt at FINALLY LEAVING this place and heading UP. It's been a LONG, dragged out, bloody, dusty, fiery, angst-ridden, pathetic time here and leaving it after a year and not seeing Jerusalem for almost 2 - well I was riveted to the window taking it all in, praying that the green trees, my pines, my blessed pines would remain with me as memory. The hills of Beit Shemesh, the caves, the valleys - the vistas, the curves, the green, green, green, green! And the ascent and the familiarity of it all. And the hustle and bustle begins and a taxi and then a walk and then the shuk and then another taxi to the Wall - and there I lost it - and just wept. I wept for the women who came before me. For my own grieving, for my mother, for my cat, for my brother and my sister and for getting OUT.
The tears wouldn't stop and I connected my forehead and palms to the stone and noticed reverberation. And I gathered the falled notes and places them within the wall. Another taxi back to the bus station - and the dread started to set in. And the bus ride back was faster, as going down hill is. Down being the operative word here. And as soon as we hit the location the burning stench arose. I was let off one stop away from Achuzzam because the bus doesn't stop at Achuzzam. And so in the middle of darkness with trucks and cars zooming past me on the Tel Aviv-Beer Sheba road - I stand waiting, with bags of groceries and homeopathic remedies gotten for my sick cat on Jaffa street.
And the minutes pass and not a taxi or bus. And I am freaking out with the bombardment to my senses. And finally I just crossed over to the other side of the road and hooked into the entrance of another moshav through which I could POSSIBLY hitch somewhat closer to where I now live. And within a second a van stops and he took me and another hitcher to a couple of miles through which left me with the last stretch of 1 km to walk shlepping my bags in pitch black with every single bloody half-crazed dog howling at me. So I bloody howled back. And I shouted at the cloudy moon and at the people of Achuzzam at their follies and at the fires that are burning here in hell and at the insanity of it all.
And I became by virtue of just arriving back here a woman totally out of her element yearning only to be with familiar people and yet, for some reason it is warranted and decreed that I should remain here for at least 2 months more - unless by sheer miracle - a place becomes available to me in Yeru-Shalayim.
It's all burning. And the orange street lamp lights intensify the freak show. And this is how I arrived to and from an aliyah where for a few hours I felt like I once again belonged to the living. And there was a sense of genuiness about the streets of Jerusalem. And vitality. And the air was clean, bright and magnetic as only Jerusalem air can be. And I left some tears at the Wall. For which I made the journey.
I can't BEGIN to tell you - how utterly blown away I felt at FINALLY LEAVING this place and heading UP. It's been a LONG, dragged out, bloody, dusty, fiery, angst-ridden, pathetic time here and leaving it after a year and not seeing Jerusalem for almost 2 - well I was riveted to the window taking it all in, praying that the green trees, my pines, my blessed pines would remain with me as memory. The hills of Beit Shemesh, the caves, the valleys - the vistas, the curves, the green, green, green, green! And the ascent and the familiarity of it all. And the hustle and bustle begins and a taxi and then a walk and then the shuk and then another taxi to the Wall - and there I lost it - and just wept. I wept for the women who came before me. For my own grieving, for my mother, for my cat, for my brother and my sister and for getting OUT.
The tears wouldn't stop and I connected my forehead and palms to the stone and noticed reverberation. And I gathered the falled notes and places them within the wall. Another taxi back to the bus station - and the dread started to set in. And the bus ride back was faster, as going down hill is. Down being the operative word here. And as soon as we hit the location the burning stench arose. I was let off one stop away from Achuzzam because the bus doesn't stop at Achuzzam. And so in the middle of darkness with trucks and cars zooming past me on the Tel Aviv-Beer Sheba road - I stand waiting, with bags of groceries and homeopathic remedies gotten for my sick cat on Jaffa street.
And the minutes pass and not a taxi or bus. And I am freaking out with the bombardment to my senses. And finally I just crossed over to the other side of the road and hooked into the entrance of another moshav through which I could POSSIBLY hitch somewhat closer to where I now live. And within a second a van stops and he took me and another hitcher to a couple of miles through which left me with the last stretch of 1 km to walk shlepping my bags in pitch black with every single bloody half-crazed dog howling at me. So I bloody howled back. And I shouted at the cloudy moon and at the people of Achuzzam at their follies and at the fires that are burning here in hell and at the insanity of it all.
And I became by virtue of just arriving back here a woman totally out of her element yearning only to be with familiar people and yet, for some reason it is warranted and decreed that I should remain here for at least 2 months more - unless by sheer miracle - a place becomes available to me in Yeru-Shalayim.
It's all burning. And the orange street lamp lights intensify the freak show. And this is how I arrived to and from an aliyah where for a few hours I felt like I once again belonged to the living. And there was a sense of genuiness about the streets of Jerusalem. And vitality. And the air was clean, bright and magnetic as only Jerusalem air can be. And I left some tears at the Wall. For which I made the journey.
Comments
Desparation in Israel should be a very good sign for the redemption, so keep it up ! ;-) (Just joking, good luck with the cat.)
I got some laws you might like for Israel. Or maybe not, your call.
Thanks for your kind words re my feline. Life has been hard here for him too. Moving around. Getting used to stuff. It ain't easy being an American cat living in Israel. Trust.
In particular look up if you like: Wajicra 25:35-37, Bemidbar 23:20-21, the laws against rent seeking loans. Compare: shulchan aruch chapters 66 & 180. If Israel merely did these laws, not break them, things should have gone a lot better for her: no holocaust, and the kibutzim movement could have ended in success not failure. That could be the difference between a happy and sad life.
I am afraid that the jewish rabbis are in rebellion against the rent seeking laws of the Torah, have been since Hillel shortly after the 2nd temple fell. It may sound like an unimportant or even magical problem, but it is not, there are hard economic concequences to pay for getting the economic system wrong. That can eventually go all the way into disintegration of the nation, war, it has no end.
By the way, the kind of moshiach you seek isn`t coming: that is jesus ! No magic: law is what matters, IMHO. (You didn`t recognize it, told you so I guess; good luck in Israel though.) People underestimate the importance of law, I mean the real law of the land, such as having for-profit finance in Israel, for instance. It works like a slow cancer, but it is a cancer in your nation and the entire world.
Think about this: the arabs keep HaShems law against rent seeking. What if you suddenly agree and do to ? It could help bring arab & jew together. No more terrorism, friendly neighbor nations, economic justice and prosperity forever, having real power over your life and nation: I think that eventually could heal the wounds of Israel if it stays that way for long enough.
Once Israel completely collapses, you will know your rabbis are no help to you. Why not: they rebel against Torah, even the strictest of them.
Israel is following what is in each person's heart and each person's own person path of Teshuvah and so the reality reflects that and the outcome of which way Moshiach will ultimately arrive.
It is a dual process - as below/as above - where one deed influences the outcome and the outcome influences the reality.
So if you're going to be speaking about Israel with me, refer to the government as the government, the right as the right and the left as the left and I think we can discuss this. Otherwise, you're painting an entire collective black and that's just not acceptable.